She comes home with that look in her eyes screaming PREPARE FOR ME TO UNLEASH MY FURY. You're just thinking, "Oh God no, I'm way too tired for this."
She opens her mouth.
You're preparing to cover your ears. But no, no, maybe, just maybe it won't be that bad. Better risk it. Let's just see what happens.
She starts venting about her horrible day.
You immediately feel resolved to offer your solutions.
"You hate your job? Why don't you quit it then? You sound miserable everyday."
She raises her guard.
"I can't just quit my job, and I don't hate it! It's just stressing me out today."
You start pulling out more of your handy solutions.
"You should lie down."
She starts to get irritated.
"I don't want to I just---"
You cut her off.
"But it'll make you feel much better!"
She gets more irritated
Uh oh.... abort mission fellas....
She opens her mouth again
Take cover.
"You never listen to me. I've been having a rough day while you've been sitting here doing nothing. I just want...."
You've already tuned out, and you don't want to know the ending.
Yes, women can get a little annoying when it comes to talking. Can't she just get a beer and chiiiiiiillllllllll?
Haha.
Look fellas, women don't cope with stress the way you guys do. Women need to talk. They can't just whip out a video game and start combating stress. Essentially, women need to vent their feelings.
Women just need someone to listen to them. Granted, a man feels like offering solutions and suggestions always seems like the best way to listen to a women. Nevertheless, not every woman is the same. Sometimes women get irritated when you try to offer solutions. I know you think that you're just trying to love and care for her by trying to fix her problems and offer your advice (maybe you should tell her that too). It's perfectly natural for men to feel competent and pride themselves with knowledge.
But, women like to talk about problems a little differently. Perhaps men feel as if they are strong enough to do most things by themselves. Women, on the other hand, have no problem opening up and sharing their concerns. When women talk to each other and vent, they listen and empathize.
Interrupting and offering with solutions just causes frustration. Eventually, she will feel better. But she does not need to be fixed!
If you feel blamed, criticized, or attacked:
Do not fret. She is not blaming you or trying to make you feel inadequate. You're not failing her. She's not rejecting your suggestions out of mistrust. She just needs empathy and nurturing.
So the next time a woman shows stress signals, and she's about to vent,
practice listening.
A simple "Oh really?" "Oh no." "It'll be ok" "[insert relevent compliment here]" will suffice. Remember: empathy and nurturing. Listen, don't interrupt. She will thank you for it. And if she does get frustrated with your opinions, merely explain that you're just looking out for her and you will just listen to her next time. You will have plenty of times to offer your precious two cents, but use it when she asks for it or is feeling stable and stress-free!
If you feel blamed, criticized, or attacked:
Do not fret. She is not blaming you or trying to make you feel inadequate. You're not failing her. She's not rejecting your suggestions out of mistrust. She just needs empathy and nurturing.
practice listening.
A simple "Oh really?" "Oh no." "It'll be ok" "[insert relevent compliment here]" will suffice. Remember: empathy and nurturing. Listen, don't interrupt. She will thank you for it. And if she does get frustrated with your opinions, merely explain that you're just looking out for her and you will just listen to her next time. You will have plenty of times to offer your precious two cents, but use it when she asks for it or is feeling stable and stress-free!
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